Ok, I've waited way too long to post all of this, so I hope my memory holds out. Here are the latest updates:
Monday, March 11, 2019 - My colonoscopy day
My colonoscopy is scheduled for 7:00 AM. It's been two months since our long visit to the ER. Coincidence? No. I need someone to stay there the whole time, up to four hours, since I'll be sedated, and that person will need to drive me home after. I tell Scott that our 18-year-old son is taking me. He can miss a day of school. Besides, Scott's immune system is compromised and hospitals aren't as clean as they claim to be, and I'm getting my procedure done in the same building where his was done. Different doctor though; if I had the same one that would be awkward. I don't want him to get PTSD going back there.
"I didn't even think of any of that," he says, "but that makes sense."
"I did, and you're welcome," I laughingly reply.
I'm nervous for the day. What if they find something in me? I can't handle another bad diagnosis. The medical staff is all very nice. They wheel me back, get me prepped. The nurse has the same name as our eldest son, who is there with me. It didn't even hurt when he poked me for the IV. I compliment him on his skills. "Thank you, I have been doing this a while." :) The doctor comes back to meet me and we talk for a while. The question I'm anticipating of course comes up, of why are you having this procedure done at your age? "You're rather young to have this procedure. Most 29-year-olds don't have one of these done." Awww, what a sweet doctor. I explain to him why and he says "Oh I'm so sorry," so many times that I tell him he needs to stop or he'll make me cry. He is a very kind man and offers so much reassurance.
After a few more minutes of waiting, they wheel me back to the anesthetic room and explain everything again. I was just here two months ago, but patiently listen again, cause this time I'm the patient, not the supportive spouse. The next thing I remember I'm awake in my old hospital room and my son is there. The nurse comes in and asks how I'm doing. Just as I'm about to ask him if that was the stuff Michael Jackson had, he tells me that it was. "I can see why he liked it so much! I was totally out! That's the best sleep I've had in months, and it was only 20 minutes."
The doctor comes in and shows me pictures of my wonderfully healthy, disease-free colon! Not even one polyp! I won't need another colonoscopy for ten years! Wahoo! One less stress to deal with. My son and I leave in good spirits and go out to breakfast at Denny's. We order way too much food and bring leftovers home.
Tuesday, March 12, 2019
I go to my first counseling appointment. I cry almost the whole time, but it feels good to get it all out. I'm glad I decided to start this. I've been needing and wanting to for years. A neutral sounding board and advice-giver is always nice to help you feel more normal. :)
That night I have dinner with a friend who I haven't seen for a while. She's a single mom and it's fun to catch up and share life's joys and sorrows together. We'll have to do it again sometime.
Wednesday, March 13, 2019
That morning the weather was terrible! A blizzard in the middle of March! Really? Only one more week until spring! You couldn't tell that day! I have to go meet with my junior high age son's counselor. It's time to register for 9th grade! Ahhh, high school?! I don't want to go because the roads are so bad, but I don't want to reschedule either. It's fun spending time with him as he chooses some classes that he's interested in. We'll wait to see which ones he gets. I still can't convince him to take ballroom. He's my only kid who wants nothing to do with it. 😆 It's all right. He picked some fun classes, mostly computer ones, and PE, since that's what he's into.
I cancel a date with my mom and a friend because of the weather. My friend calls me at the time we had scheduled to get together and we have a really nice, long talk. I promise to come for a visit when the weather is nicer; hopefully spring will decide to come when it's supposed to this year.
My daughter has her first counseling appointment later that day. She has a fun time getting to know her counselor and is glad to have someone else to talk to. Since I have some time before I go get my boys from school, I go to the office across the street. I've been waiting to hear back from them about a certain counselor for my boys. They have been on a waiting list to see him and when I called the week prior, the receptionist told me that they were next on the list and I should hear from them soon. I figure it would be better if I talk to them in person since I'm there. It's always better to talk face to face than over the phone. I go in and explain our situation to another receptionist (the one I originally talked to wasn't there that day) and tell her my boy's names. She pulls up the info on the counselor and finds out that he has two back to back appointments the following week. "I think I'm gonna cry," she says. "I've worked here for two years, I have never seen that happen! Back to back appointments, for the same family! That's a miracle!" Another tender mercy, I think. I tell her I'm so glad someone up above is looking out for us. :) She then shares that her first husband died of a brain tumor when he was just 33 and she was left with three little kids. She reassures me that I will be OK. Another angel from heaven! I ask if I can give her a hug before I leave, and of course she accepts. I never would have met this woman if it hadn't been for our situation. Thank you, Heavenly Father. He really does know us. :)
Scott starts ozone therapy today. He gets to sit in a big machine and have it pump ozone into his body. It's supposed to help his body release toxins. We met the owner last week on our way to Scott's chemo treatment. We had a good visit with him and are very grateful to the people who introduced us to him.
That night, I went to a church activity with other sisters in my ward. Every so often, the women's organization of the church, called the Relief Society, has an mid-week activity. It's a good opportunity to come together and feel of the sisterhood that we share as a part of this organization. I honestly didn't want to go. I didn't feel like I had a lot in common with these women and I enjoy my comfort zone of being with the young women. And I had so many other things happening in the evening that week, that it was just one more thing. I convinced myself that I would stay home and enjoy time with my family. After hearing a talk from one of these incredible sisters last Sunday in church, I changed my mind. I needed to be there to feel of their love and friendship. It knew it would really help me. I'm so glad that I went. I got to know some sisters better and meet new ones. I felt an incredible amount of love and like I truly belonged. It was so needed.
Thursday, March 14, 2019
It's my baby's birthday today. He turned 8 years old. How does the time go so fast?
He sure enjoyed his LEGOs.
He keeps asking me to take him to the store to "get his Bible." 😆 In our family we have a tradition that when our children turn eight, we get them a full set of scriptures, in preparation for their baptism. In our church, we believe that all children ages 8 and older know the difference between right and wrong and are now accountable to Heavenly Father for their actions. They can make the decision to be baptized and make sacred covenants with our Heavenly Father when they are eight. He is very excited for that day and to have his own scriptures. :) I tell him I'll take him later that week to get them.Since his birthday is on PI day, we have also have a tradition (just for his birthday) that we have pie instead of cake. He picked out a pie earlier that week at the store and he is excited to eat it later that day.
That night for our youth activity, combined with the boys, we had a lip sync battle. Yay! I'm super excited for this one! I'm kind of a lip sync freak. It's my thing! The girls think I'm so weird for getting so excited about it, but it's a great way to relieve stress and just let loose. I had pre-arranged with a couple of the other leaders to do a song from the early 90's. I got the idea from my sister last year when we went on a road trip to visit our Dad for his 70th birthday. She put a play list together with 80's/90's songs and when this song started playing she said, "Wouldn't this be the greatest song to lip sync for your young women?!" Yah that's a way cool idea. Just have to wait for the right opportunity. So tonight was the night! Complete with costumes, including fedoras, vests, and pegged pants, we lip synced our hearts out to "Hold On" by Wilson Phillips! (No pictures of that one, sorry!) It was awesome and I had so much fun! We won second place! But more importantly, I hoped that the girls remembered the message that the song portrayed. It's a great message. I love them so much and hope they remember to always hold on. That song means a lot more to me now. Maybe that will be my new theme song.
We enjoyed delicious chocolate cream pie when I got home. It was a really fun day.
Friday, March 15, 2019
Because of the wild weather, a neighbor's fence had blown over and a neighborhood service project was organized to help lift it back up. Scott decided to go help and he took one of our sons. They were practically done by the time he got there. The ward members were happy to see him and he was glad to be of service. I think people were glad to see him, since he's been MIA for the last two months to avoid crowds. But guess what, he would love home visits! As long as you're not sick, you're welcome to visit with him anytime. That would actually be really nice. I'm getting kind of tired being the messenger girl. Just ask him how he's doing!
Saturday, March 16, 2019
Our youngest had a birthday party today. He enjoyed spending time with his friends doing boy things like playing outdoor games and sports, eating pizza and watching a movie. :) Super chill party! I'm all for that! :)
Sunday, March 17, 2019
It's St. Patty's Day! Weird to have it on a Sunday, but my kids all find something green to wear for church and they all look great. We have a good day at church and I have a fuul day of meetings, before and after church. I'm gone from 9:00 AM until 4:00 PM. That was a long day! When I get home, I'm too tired to make our traditional St. Patty's day meal of green pancakes or waffles. It's okay. Maybe next year. My kids didn't ask for it, so we were fine.
Monday, March 18, 2019
I go to another counseling appointment. Not as much crying this time. My daughter registers for her junior year of classes and gets all the ones she wants. Yay! She's excited to not be bottom of the totem pole as a sophomore and get last choice and risk the chance of not getting into the class. I take my two boys to the counselor that they've been on the waiting list for. I visit with him for a little bit in between the two sessions to give him the rundown. My two boys have ADHD, and that is what he specializes in, so it is so comforting to me to know that they will get such good help. Boy, he really knows his stuff, I think as I talk with him. I'm so glad we were led to him.
Tuesday, March 19, 2019
Today I take my 10-year-old to a children's hospital to see a specialist. He has had some bladder issues for years that we are trying to nip in the bud. He has an ultrasound scheduled. I explain to him what that is and how I had one for all my babies when they were inside me and how Dad had one and that's how they found the cancer. He seems excited to be able to see inside his body. I'm nervous for the procedure. Please, don't let it be bladder cancer! I desperately hope and pray as we have the procedure done. It goes off without a hitch and his bladder looks great. Hallelujah! We go talk to the doctor and come up with more strategies on how to help him with his issues. At least his bladder is healthy, and we can cross that off the list and move on to Plan B.
As I'm driving him back to school, I get a phone call from the vice principal about another son who is currently in his office. He has done a stupid, teenage thing, and is dealing with the consequences through the school. He needs me to come in and talk to both of them about it. I tell him I'm on my way and I call my husband and ask him to meet me there.
We get to the school and my younger son goes off to class and I make my way back to the vice principal's office. Scott beat me there and they have started talking. I sit in the chair behind them. The vice principal explains the situation and he and my husband start discussing consequences with our son. Scott talks so calmly to our son and explains about how he reacts to this situation will help define what kind of man he will become. I start to cry, partly because of exhaustion of the events of the morning, but mostly because I just think how wise Scott is. The world needs more good men like this! He can't die! I'm so impressed how he uses this situation to teach our son correct principles and allows him to govern himself. He is a really good parent who is so calm. I use emotion to parent and that usually doesn't go over very well. :( We take our son home and we can tell he's very remorseful and wants to repair the damage he's done. We talk to him about repentance and it's another good teaching moment.
That night, we have a meeting with an estate planner. We've wanted to do this for years, but never got around to it. It's amazing how a life-altering situation forces you to be vigilant. We have a good discussion with him and come up with an action plan and he gives us some assignments to complete before the next time we see him. We have to decide who gets our kids should we both pass away before they're raised. It's not something you want to think about, but needs to be done. We'll have peace of mind once it's all finalized. Another thing to check off the to do list.
Chemo #5 is tomorrow.
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