Scan #3 and results

FEAR

In episode #149 on the podcast Better Than Happy, the host, Jody Moore, defines fear in the following ways:

1) Fear is a gift.

2) Only humans can create fear by thought alone.

3) Fear exists about things in the future.

4) Come back to the present to minimize your fear.

5) The brain does not differentiate between physical and emotional danger.

First of all, you should check out the podcast. It's a good one. Secondly, I don't think it's a coincidence that that episode was the next one for me to listen to, even though it was recorded over a year ago (I'm listening to them in order from start to finish), and I just happened to listen to it a few days before Scott's next scan. It definitely gave me a lot to think about, and was very reassuring. There's nothing we can do about the results; just deal with it and don't dwell on them. 

So without further ado, here we go.........

His scan was originally scheduled for two days before we talked to the doctor. They called and rescheduled to the day before because that's when they'd have a person there who could access the port. At least there will be someone; better than last time. What a fiasco! And at least this time we'd only have to wait about 24 hours, instead of a week, like last time! Way to much scanxiety for me, and probably Scott too! We definitely learned our lesson after that one. It would still be nice if they had more people who can access a port. I'm not a nurse and I know how to do it. They could seriously have a workshop at the hospital and nurses could learn and practice how to do it in a couple of hours. That is another suggestion I may include on the survey that they always send out when we visit. Anyways, I digress. I do that a lot -- it's fun!

We went to the imaging center yesterday and the doctor who knew how to access the port had to be tracked down. When they finally found him, he asked Scott what he was getting a CT scan for. Scott told him colon cancer and he asked how old he was. "Young!" I said at the same time Scott told him his age of 46. The doctor said he was 47 and he hasn't had a colonoscopy yet so he was going to get one. After both of us reassuring him that it was a good idea, he casually mentioned that the screening age has been lowered recently to 45 instead of 50, regardless of family history! Which means that if there is a family history you can get scoped at 40 and insurance will pay for it. Hmmm, I thought, they're finally getting the picture. Maybe if that had been the case with Scott we could have caught this earlier. After struggling awkwardly and having to poke him twice to access his port (it seemed like he didn't do it very often), the doctor got it hooked up and they whisked him away to the scan. Fifteen minutes later he walked out, we got the CD and headed home, trying to stay busy over the next 24 hours as we wait to go over results with the doctor. I went out to lunch with my sweet neighbor, who's also a good friend, and it helped immensely to take my mind off things. We visited while enjoying some delicious food and then went to go buy some Halloween decorations afterward. Thank you, sweet friend. I am truly blessed to have you in my life.

We met with the doctor the next day. Scott had already made up his mind that whatever the results were, he wasn't getting treatment that day. He's really sick of the neuropathy and wants to take a break through the end of the year. When the nurse called him back to get his blood work, we were pleased to see that it was the same nurse that he had for his first chemo treatment. We were all excited to see each other again; she seems to never to be there when he has his treatment on the day we meet with the doc. When she asked him about which needle he preferred, he told her he wasn't getting treatment that day, so it didn't matter. "Well, look at you, acting like the patient, or something," she sarcastically replied. :) She took his blood and we went back into the waiting room to get called back to talk to the doc. They called him back quickly and we didn't have to wait very long for him. That's never happened before. Yay! Maybe the rest of the day will go as quickly.

When the doc came in, he pulled up Scott's results and said he had just gone over them with the radiologist at 6:00 the night before. They notes were very brief, so he double checked to see if they were for the right person. They were; this radiologist just wasn't as verbose as the others. The tumor in the colon is still undetectable; the liver one was still continuing to shrink. The lung ones still haven't changed. Scott didn't waste any time letting the doctor know that he wanted to take a break from chemo through the rest of the year and asked if he could get another scan at the end of the year. The doctor agreed to that and Scott pulled up the calendar on his phone and said, "How about December 23rd?" "You want to do it before Christmas?" asked the doctor. "No!" I replied before Scott could. "How about the 30th?" "Sounds good," said the doc, so we scheduled it for then. I also mentioned that we'd probably come to his office to get the scan because the one closer to us doesn't have people there who can access a port. The doctor said he would mention that to someone and suggest they train more people at that location to be able to access a port. "That will be very helpful, thank you," I said. We left an hour later, instead of four hours. It was a great feeling. 

So, in a nutshell, Scott will not receive any more chemo treatments this year and he'll get another scan on the 30th, and we'll meet with the doc after the beginning of the year and reassess. The doctor said he would put aside personal feelings about Scott's decision and hope that the tumor didn't increase in size during the lapse in treatment. It's not really a lapse in treatment - he'll still continue to do all the natural stuff he's been doing - it's just a lapse in chemo. I hope it's forever, but know it's a personal decision that only Scott can make. All I know is, if I ever get cancer, I will not get chemo. I don't want to poison my body! Call me a weirdo, a quack, one of "those" people, but I won't do it to myself. Traditional medicine is not the only way to treat cancer. This will be a good opportunity for us to see how these natural treatments alone are helping him fight the cancer.    

The next day the kids were out of school for fall break, and the day after that we headed about 3 hours north of us to enjoy some family fun at a lake house that belongs to a friend. It was beautiful! We had fun, despite the cold; autumn seriously only lasted about a week until winter decided to come, so the second day we were there the snow came and we didn't go outside too much. We definitely want to go back in the summer. There are so many things to do there. 

Since we've been home, Scott has been catching up on work. He worked for twelve hours yesterday; I told him it's ok to take a break. He has seemed really tired and sullen for the last few days. I think his body is on detox from the chemo. 

So that's the latest folks! Sorry I made you wait. So many people have asked me in the past week what the results are. I'm really trying to be better about staying current on this, but life happens. Love to all!

Chemo Day

All this stuff is yesterday's news by now, as it happened yesterday! 😆

Did you ever watch that show Fixer Upper with Chip and Joanna Gaines on HGTV? Do you remember how Chip would get so excited on Demo Day, and he'd go around shouting/singing/declaring "It's Demo Day?!" Yah I think I have the exact opposite reaction when it's chemo day! Seeing as how this might be Scott's last chemo for a while (hopefully forever), I was planning on going with him, even though it was the off week with the doctor. I even said no to an appointment with my mother in order to have the morning free to spend with him. Well, let me tell you, my body had another idea!

We were all ready to go at 7:30 AM for his 8:00 AM appointment. After the kids left for school we drove down to his appointment and as I was pulling into the parking lot, my stomach began cramping up. It was like really painful indigestion mixed with menstrual cramps. I figured my breakfast didn't agree with me and it would pass. We went inside and he got checked in and as we went to the waiting area, I felt like I was going to pass out! The pain was so bad! I couldn't sit down; I couldn't stand up straight. I just kind of wriggled there in the waiting room, trying to find a comfortable position, hoping it would pass. Scott told me I should go home and get some rest and he'd call me when he was done. I didn't want to. I had planned to be here with him. My stupid body wasn't going to stop me.  After about 30 more seconds of painful abdominal cramps, I decided it was best if I went home and tried to rest. I kissed him goodbye and left just as they called him back. We were right by the hospital; I was tempted to just go into the ER and see if they could help me! I decided to just tough it out on the drive home. That was very uncomfortable! I could feel my face and head getting really hot and I started to sweat. I started to feel nauseous and like I was going to throw up. I decided if it didn't pass after I turned the corner I would pull over and puke on the side of the road. The nausea subsided long enough for me to get home, but just barely. Luckily we don't live that far from the hospital, but it was still a long three minutes! I tried to breath deep even breaths to keep my body relaxed ans I drove home. When I arrived home, I bolted upstairs and made a beeline to the toilet! Nothing came up, despite my continued cramping and nauseous feelings. I stayed in the bathroom a few more minutes and then decided to get the heating pad and go lay down.

I put the heating pad on my stomach and lay in the fetal position in my bed for about an hour. The pain subsided after about ten minutes. I just lay in bed and rested and wondered what was going on! Was I having sympathy pains for our daughter and her ovarian cyst, or was it an actual cyst that had burst? Did I have a bladder infection or UTI? Did I have some weird bowel obstruction, or a tumor on my colon that was flaring up? Or was it just some weird psychosomatic thing that manifested itself in response to Scott's chemo day? Whatever it was, I felt a lot better a couple of  hours later when Scott called saying he was done and asked if I could pick him up.

Whatever was going on, it went away! So weird! I'm still trying to process it all and learn what I need to from this. It was really nice to just lay in bed and relax and contemplate things. I don't do that much, but that's kind of on purpose. It's easier to just stay so busy that I don't have time to think about it.

Scan #3 is scheduled for October 15th. Please send prayers, good thoughts and vibes, warm fuzzies, etc., our way in the meantime. Meanwhile, we'll just keep doing what we're doing - trying to eat healthy, continue to learn new things about how to treat cancer naturally, continue to improve our overall health, enjoy spending time with each other (for the most part) and trying to notice God's tender mercies in our lives. Here are some that have happened since my last post:

• A sweet neighbor and friend delivered a big bouquet of flowers to our daughter and gave me some delicious, healthy chocolate because she knew we needed a pick me up. 
• A friend who I occasionally visit with texted and suggested we get together since it has been a while. We were able to get together today and enjoyed a lovely walk together as we visited about everything under the sun and then some more. 
• A random neighbor left a bag of delicious nectarines on our front porch and another one delivered some cookies as a thank you to our 11-year-old son who delivered some to his house with his scout troop last week. I love people's goodness.😊