Updates and Events

Chapter 14 - Taking Care of the Little Things ... And Some Big Things Too

Ok, I've waited way too long to post all of this, so I hope my memory holds out. Here are the latest updates:

Monday, March 11, 2019 - My colonoscopy day
My colonoscopy is scheduled for 7:00 AM. It's been two months since our long visit to the ER. Coincidence? No. I need someone to stay there the whole time, up to four hours, since I'll be sedated, and that person will need to drive me home after. I tell Scott that our 18-year-old son is taking me. He can miss a day of school. Besides, Scott's immune system is compromised and hospitals aren't as clean as they claim to be, and I'm getting my procedure done in the same building where his was done. Different doctor though; if I had the same one that would be awkward. I don't want him to get PTSD going back there.
"I didn't even think of any of that," he says, "but that makes sense."
"I did, and you're welcome," I laughingly reply.
I'm nervous for the day. What if they find something in me? I can't handle another bad diagnosis. The medical staff is all very nice. They wheel me back, get me prepped. The nurse has the same name as our eldest son, who is there with me. It didn't even hurt when he poked me for the IV. I compliment him on his skills. "Thank you, I have been doing this a while." :) The doctor comes back to meet me and we talk for a while. The question I'm anticipating of course comes up, of why are you having this procedure done at your age? "You're rather young to have this procedure. Most 29-year-olds don't have one of these done." Awww, what a sweet doctor. I explain to him why and he says "Oh I'm so sorry," so many times that I tell him he needs to stop or he'll make me cry. He is a very kind man and offers so much reassurance.
After a few more minutes of waiting, they wheel me back to the anesthetic room and explain everything again. I was just here two months ago, but patiently listen again, cause this time I'm the patient, not the supportive spouse. The next thing I remember I'm awake in my old hospital room and my son is there. The nurse comes in and asks how I'm doing. Just as I'm about to ask him if that was the stuff Michael Jackson had, he tells me that it was. "I can see why he liked it so much! I was totally out! That's the best sleep I've had in months, and it was only 20 minutes."
The doctor comes in and shows me pictures of my wonderfully healthy, disease-free colon! Not even one polyp! I won't need another colonoscopy for ten years! Wahoo! One less stress to deal with. My son and I leave in good spirits and go out to breakfast at Denny's. We order way too much food and bring leftovers home.

Tuesday, March 12, 2019
I go to my first counseling appointment. I cry almost the whole time, but it feels good to get it all out. I'm glad I decided to start this. I've been needing and wanting to for years. A neutral sounding board and advice-giver is always nice to help you feel more normal. :)
That night I have dinner with a friend who I haven't seen for a while. She's a single mom and it's fun to catch up and share life's joys and sorrows together. We'll have to do it again sometime.

Wednesday, March 13, 2019
That morning the weather was terrible! A blizzard in the middle of March! Really? Only one more week until spring! You couldn't tell that day! I have to go meet with my junior high age son's counselor. It's time to register for 9th grade! Ahhh, high school?! I don't want to go because the roads are so bad, but I don't want to reschedule either. It's fun spending time with him as he chooses some classes that he's interested in. We'll wait to see which ones he gets. I still can't convince him to take ballroom. He's my only kid who wants nothing to do with it. 😆 It's all right. He picked some fun classes, mostly computer ones, and PE, since that's what he's into.
I cancel a date with my mom and a friend because of the weather. My friend calls me at the time we had scheduled to get together and we have a really nice, long talk. I promise to come for a visit when the weather is nicer; hopefully spring will decide to come when it's supposed to this year.
My daughter has her first counseling appointment later that day. She has a fun time getting to know her counselor and is glad to have someone else to talk to. Since I have some time before I go get my boys from school, I go to the office across the street. I've been waiting to hear back from them about a certain counselor for my boys. They have been on a waiting list to see him and when I called the week prior, the receptionist told me that they were next on the list and I should hear from them soon. I figure it would be better if I talk to them in person since I'm there. It's always better to talk face to face than over the phone. I go in and explain our situation to another receptionist (the one I originally talked to wasn't there that day) and tell her my boy's names. She pulls up the info on the counselor and finds out that he has two back to back appointments the following week. "I think I'm gonna cry," she says. "I've worked here for two years, I have never seen that happen! Back to back appointments, for the same family! That's a miracle!" Another tender mercy, I think. I tell her I'm so glad someone up above is looking out for us. :) She then shares that her first husband died of a brain tumor when he was just 33 and she was left with three little kids. She reassures me that I will be OK. Another angel from heaven! I ask if I can give her a hug before I leave, and of course she accepts. I never would have met this woman if it hadn't been for our situation. Thank you, Heavenly Father. He really does know us. :)
Scott starts ozone therapy today. He gets to sit in a big machine and have it pump ozone into his body. It's supposed to help his body release toxins. We met the owner last week on our way to Scott's chemo treatment. We had a good visit with him and are very grateful to the people who introduced us to him.
That night, I went to a church activity with other sisters in my ward. Every so often, the women's organization of the church, called the Relief Society, has an mid-week activity. It's a good opportunity to come together and feel of the sisterhood that we share as a part of this organization. I honestly didn't want to go. I didn't feel like I had a lot in common with these women and I enjoy my comfort zone of being with the young women. And I had so many other things happening in the evening that week, that it was just one more thing. I convinced myself that I would stay home and enjoy time with my family. After hearing a talk from one of these incredible sisters last Sunday in church, I changed my mind. I needed to be there to feel of their love and friendship. It knew it would really help me. I'm so glad that I went. I got to know some sisters better and meet new ones. I felt an incredible amount of love and like I truly belonged. It was so needed.

Thursday, March 14, 2019
It's my baby's birthday today. He turned 8 years old. How does the time go so fast?
He sure enjoyed his LEGOs.  He keeps asking me to take him to the store to "get his Bible." 😆 In our family we have a tradition that when our children turn eight, we get them a full set of scriptures, in preparation for their baptism. In our church, we believe that all children ages 8 and older know the difference between right and wrong and are now accountable to Heavenly Father for their actions. They can make the decision to be baptized and make sacred covenants with our Heavenly Father when they are eight. He is very excited for that day and to have his own scriptures. :) I tell him I'll take him later that week to get them.
Since his birthday is on PI day, we have also have a tradition (just for his birthday) that we have pie instead of cake. He picked out a pie earlier that week at the store and he is excited to eat it later that day.
That night for our youth activity, combined with the boys, we had a lip sync battle. Yay! I'm super excited for this one! I'm kind of a lip sync freak. It's my thing! The girls think I'm so weird for getting so excited about it, but it's a great way to relieve stress and just let loose. I had pre-arranged with a couple of the other leaders to do a song from the early 90's. I got the idea from my sister last year when we went on a road trip to visit our Dad for his 70th birthday. She put a play list together with 80's/90's songs and when this song started playing she said, "Wouldn't this be the greatest song to lip sync for your young women?!" Yah that's a way cool idea. Just have to wait for the right opportunity. So tonight was the night! Complete with costumes, including fedoras, vests, and pegged pants, we lip synced our hearts out to "Hold On" by Wilson Phillips! (No pictures of that one, sorry!) It was awesome and I had so much fun! We won second place! But more importantly, I hoped that the girls remembered the message that the song portrayed. It's a great message. I love them so much and hope they remember to always hold on. That song means a lot more to me now. Maybe that will be my new theme song.
We enjoyed delicious chocolate cream pie when I got home. It was a really fun day.

Friday, March 15, 2019
Because of the wild weather, a neighbor's fence had blown over and a neighborhood service project was organized to help lift it back up. Scott decided to go help and he took one of our sons. They were practically done by the time he got there. The ward members were happy to see him and he was glad to be of service. I think people were glad to see him, since he's been MIA for the last two months to avoid crowds. But guess what, he would love home visits! As long as you're not sick, you're welcome to visit with him anytime. That would actually be really nice. I'm getting kind of tired being the messenger girl. Just ask him how he's doing!

Saturday, March 16, 2019
Our youngest had a birthday party today. He enjoyed spending time with his friends doing boy things like playing outdoor games and sports, eating pizza and watching a movie. :) Super chill party! I'm all for that! :)

Sunday, March 17, 2019
It's St. Patty's Day! Weird to have it on a Sunday, but my kids all find something green to wear for church and they all look great. We have a good day at church and I have a fuul day of meetings, before and after church. I'm gone from 9:00 AM until 4:00 PM. That was a long day! When I get home, I'm too tired to make our traditional St. Patty's day meal of green pancakes or waffles. It's okay. Maybe next year. My kids didn't ask for it, so we were fine.

Monday, March 18, 2019
I go to another counseling appointment. Not as much crying this time. My daughter registers for her junior year of classes and gets all the ones she wants. Yay! She's excited to not be bottom of the totem pole as a sophomore and get last choice and risk the chance of not getting into the class. I take my two boys to the counselor that they've been on the waiting list for. I visit with him for a little bit in between the two sessions to give him the rundown. My two boys have ADHD, and that is what he specializes in, so it is so comforting to me to know that they will get such good help. Boy, he really knows his stuff, I think as I talk with him. I'm so glad we were led to him.

Tuesday, March 19, 2019
Today I take my 10-year-old to a children's hospital to see a specialist. He has had some bladder issues for years that we are trying to nip in the bud. He has an ultrasound scheduled. I explain to him what that is and how I had one for all my babies when they were inside me and how Dad had one and that's how they found the cancer. He seems excited to be able to see inside his body. I'm nervous for the procedure. Please, don't let it be bladder cancer! I desperately hope and pray as we have the procedure done. It goes off without a hitch and his bladder looks great. Hallelujah! We go talk to the doctor and come up with more strategies on how to help him with his issues. At least his bladder is healthy, and we can cross that off the list and move on to Plan B.
As I'm driving him back to school, I get a phone call from the vice principal about another son who is currently in his office. He has done a stupid, teenage thing, and is dealing with the consequences through the school. He needs me to come in and talk to both of them about it. I tell him I'm on my way and I call my husband and ask him to meet me there.
We get to the school and my younger son goes off to class and I make my way back to the vice principal's office. Scott beat me there and they have started talking. I sit in the chair behind them. The vice principal explains the situation and he and my husband start discussing consequences with our son. Scott talks so calmly to our son and explains about how he reacts to this situation will help define what kind of man he will become. I start to cry, partly because of exhaustion of the events of the morning, but mostly because I just think how wise Scott is. The world needs more good men like this! He can't die! I'm so impressed how he uses this situation to teach our son correct principles and allows him to govern himself. He is a really good parent who is so calm. I use emotion to parent and that usually doesn't go over very well. :( We take our son home and we can tell he's very remorseful and wants to repair the damage he's done. We talk to him about repentance and it's another good teaching moment.
That night, we have a meeting with an estate planner. We've wanted to do this for years, but never got around to it. It's amazing how a life-altering situation forces you to be vigilant. We have a good discussion with him and come up with an action plan and he gives us some assignments to complete before the next time we see him. We have to decide who gets our kids should we both pass away before they're raised. It's not something you want to think about, but needs to be done. We'll have peace of mind once it's all finalized. Another thing to check off the to do list.

Chemo #5 is tomorrow.

Chemo #4

Chapter 13 - How Can you Stay so Strong?

So many people have commented to me since this journey began about my strength. They can't believe I am so strong through all of this. Ha, they haven't seen me in my weak moments, thank goodness! I think. But then I start to think that, yah, I, and my family are doing remarkably well, despite this difficult trial. So why is that? I ask myself. Time for self-evaluation.

1) The number one reason I have the strength to endure this is because of my Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. I KNOW they are helping me, guiding me, strengthening me and sustaining me, as well as my husband and children. There is such a power in prayer that I always kind of knew, but didn't really experience until this happened. So many people have been praying for us, reaching out, serving us and just being all sorts of kind to our family, not because they feel sorry for us, but because they truly love and care about us. I can truly feel my Savior's love through them and  these experiences are little pieces of heaven on earth.

2) Ok, now I can't see what I'm typing because I cried as I typed that last paragraph. 😭 Another thing that helps a TON is a podcast that I listen to called Bold New Mom, and is hosted by a woman named Jody Moore, who is a life coach. This podcast was recommended to me about a year ago from a Bunco friend. I started listening about six months ago and it has been life changing. I try to listen to one or two episodes a week, more if I can squeeze them in. I'd like to share some things she said on the last podcast I listened to as my husband lay in a hyperbaric chamber two nights before his fourth chemo treatment. Being led to this kind friend who allows him to use it is another tender mercy that we were granted. Anyhow, I digress. These are some things that Jody shared in the podcast that stood out and spoke to me. During this podcast she was answering questions emailed from listeners and many of the questions had to do with hard things listeners were facing in their lives and how they could cope. This is what she had to say in response to their questions.

• "Your life is not hard unless you choose to believe it is hard .... Why would you want to doubt your own capacity for joy?" 
• If you're feeling overwhelmed, it's because of a lack of belief in yourself and in your ability to create what you want in your life, for yourself and for the people around you
• You feel overwhelmed because you're not taking care of you; you're treating yourself like a punching bag and allowing others to do the same (I'd rather use my real punching bag, thank you very much! Although I haven't used it yet, because it's outside on my deck and it won't stop snowing long enough for me to go out there and enjoy it without slipping on the ice!) 😣
• You are not missing out on any experience you are supposed to have; all of this is part of your perfect journey and disappointment is just a feeling.

Wow! Do you have warm fuzzies all over? Are you feeling empowered? That's just a tidbit of her amazing insights that keep me going through this difficult experience. You should check out her podcast - Bold New Mom. :)

3) I wear this necklace every day to remind me where my strength comes from.

• The Wonder Woman signal is a reminder of the BEST super hero there is. I honestly didn't know much about her until the movie came out in 2017. Ever since then, I've kind of become obsessed. That movie and her character spoke to me. I am inspired when women, real or imagined, are empowered to do great things. Even though her character is fictional, it's what she stands for that speaks to me. (Spoiler alert: IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THIS MOVIE, YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T READ THIS PART UNTIL YOU DO, UNLESS YOU DON'T WANT TO OR DON'T CARE ABOUT SPOILERS!) Toward the end of the movie, when she is having the epic battle with her brother Aries and is going through emotional turmoil because she just lost the love of her life, it seems like she will lose the battle, until she says, "I believe in love!" Then she's able to break through the "chains" that bind her down and defeats her brother and saves the world. Pretty awesome! Anyways, that's why she's the greatest super hero, plus she's a goddess, too, which is pretty cool. She has compassion and fights for love.What better cause is there than that? 
• The second item on the necklace, the sword, also has to do with Wonder Woman. It's her sword, which she uses to fight for justice. It reminds me of our fight that we're fighting right now.
• The third item on the necklace is my favorite. It is a medallion that can be earned by Young Women, their mothers and their leaders, in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, through a goal setting and personal growth process called Personal Progress. It requires hours of hard work as girls and women set goals and work toward achieving them. These goals include reading and studying many scripture verses, writing their thoughts and feelings in their personal journal, and completing a total of eight 10-hour projects to enhance or discover their talents in a variety of different areas. Needless to say, it is quite the accomplishment when this award is earned and every time I see this medallion I'm reminded of the awesome young women that I have the opportunity to be with. I love them so much. 

So, when you ask, "How can you stay so strong?", now you know the answer, well, three reasons why, anyway.

Updates on my husband: Isn't that the only reason people read this blog anyway? 😆

Scott went in for his fourth chemo treatment on Wednesday. We met with the doctor before the appointment, and we had a gazillion questions again. Primarily, we wanted to talk to him about Scott's inability to digest food. Is that a medical condition, is it chemo related, or did he catch a bug? The answer is there's no way to really know, but yes there is a medical condition called gastroparesis in which a person's stomach doesn't digest food properly, if at all. He prescribed a medication that he can take should it happen again.
We also requested for his vitamin B and D levels to be checked because we have read that those levels can directly affect your body's ability to fight cancer. 
https://thetruthaboutcancer.com/treating-cancer-naturally/
The doctor remarked that Scott had lost a lot of weight, (15 pounds since treatment started). I replied that he is actually at a healthy weight now and he was less "puffy." Yes he has lost weight, but I don't think he looks unhealthy. We have changed the way we eat and when you do that so drastically you are going to lose weight quickly. The doctor disagreed with what I said and seemed like he was concerned at his rapid weight loss and encouraged him to maintain a healthy weight, yet he didn't say what that weight should be, or what he should do to maintain that weight. I chuckled in my mind because he is a rather rotund fellow himself. We'll keep monitoring his weight loss and now that he can keep food down (knock on wood), I think his weight loss won't be as rapid. I think he looks fine.
We asked him about when his next scan would be. He said after treatment #6, which is next month! :) We set up a tentative date for the scan, for my piece of mind. Scott asked the doctor questions about alternative treatments (oxygen therapy and ozone therapy) and if he knew if they would counteract negatively with the chemo. He didn't know the answer and said that there was no data to support it either way, which is exactly what the people who have tried these alternative treatments (and are now cancer free)😁 said he would say. Medical doctors only know their field of study (cancer and prescriptions) and so there is no data backed by the medical community to support these findings. Hopefully the two sides of medicine, prescriptions and natural remedies, can come together to find a cure for these maladies that we all suffer from. Until then, we'll have to keep paying out of pocket for "alternative" solutions that the insurance companies won't cover. So dumb, it's like we can't take charge of our own health!

Okay, enough of my soapbox! Back to chemo treatment #4. The nurses faces are all starting to be familiar now. Scott is still the youngest one there; there was one guy there maybe in his fifties, but everyone else is retirement age. The nurses are super cool. We had awesome conversations with them about pretty much everything under the sun. They are our age - we talked about kids, church, music that we liked in high school that is now considered "oldies." One nurse commented how the newer and younger nurses there didn't even know who certain 80s artist were! They'd never heard of them! How sad! I pulled out my 80s playlist and we enjoyed listening to a few great songs. Since the chemo room wasn't full, I got to sit on one of the comfy chemo chairs instead of the uncomfortable "visitor" chairs placed by each chemo chair. One nurse even jokingly offered me some leftover chemo since I was sitting there. Boy, they sure know how to take the edge off and help everyone feel comfortable. Scott finished his chemo around 3:00 and then we went to our daughter's ballroom competition for the rest of the night. He was so glad to finally be able to go to one since he hasn't been able to attend this whole season. He wore his mask for most of the time in order to not catch any germs. It was great to spend time with him, supporting our daughter and watching the beautiful dancing. We stayed until the very end and had a great time!

The rest of this weekend has been good; he hasn't been nauseous or sick (YAY!), just a little tired. I have been at the ballroom competition every day since Wednesday. It's the national competition; the last one of the season. Our daughter competed with her team, and individually. Our ten-year-old son also competed with his team and individually. His team won first place, again! He was so excited! :) It was great to be there, but it's so nice to be home and just chill with my family.

Tomorrow I get my colonoscopy (yuck!), but I'm glad I'm getting it done. And guess what, my insurance will pay for it! :) I also finally made an appointment with a therapist, as well as one for our daughter. She has been wanting to talk to someone for a while and has pushed me to get that done. I'm hoping we enjoy this experience and find a positive outlet to vent all of our feelings.

Well, those are the latest updates. I'm really going to try to write a little bit every day because this post has taken a LONG time to write and it's hard to remember everything. Until next time. :)

Chemo treatment #3

Chapter 12 - A Long, Cold Winter

(Oh my gosh! I haven't posted in a long time, and so many people have been asking for updates, so here's the latest news! Thanks for your concern and support. I will try to be better about posting regularly.)
February 22
"What a long cold winter
Will it ever be spring
Will the snow stop falling
Will the robins sing?"

Those are words to a musical adaptation to the classic, beloved story Little Women, called Jo. When I was in 7th grade, I played the part of the bratty, spoiled youngest sister, Amy, and I sang that song. It was sooooo out of my comfort zone! I was a painfully shy youth, and always mad; I don't know about what. I tried out for the play because it was a very small school and practically everyone who tried out got a part, all two of my friends were trying out also, and my mom's friend from college was directing the play, so I was a shoe-in, right? I couldn't fail. It was type casting, really; as I mentioned earlier I was a bratty, mad youth. (Not sure if I've changed much, except for the youth part.) 🤣 I cherish the experience of that musical. I'm grateful for the opportunity I had to be stretched and learn new things and grow. I remember vividly practicing hard for my solo singing part. A very loving, patient teacher, who I still remember with admiration today, helped me reach a high F; which was quite a stretch for my alto voice. Why am I mentioning this event that happened over thirty years ago? Because I'm sick of winter! While the thin blanket of snow that covers the landscape is beautiful to look at, I wish it would just be over already. This time of year, when there's only about a month left of winter (hopefully), I get down. The holidays are over, the kids are back in full swing at school. I enjoy walking and running outside; but it's too cold and icy to do that now. The kids bring home sick bugs from school; it's that time of year. I wish school would just be cancelled for January and February so everyone could keep their germs to themselves. My two youngest have missed a week of school! They finally went back today. Keeping them quarantined from Dad for a week was not fun, nor effective. It didn't work! How am I supposed to keep sick kids away from their immune-compromised Dad? I'm counting down the days until March 20th!

Scott went in Wednesday for chemo treatment #3. They gave him an additional drug this time, Avastin. The doctor didn't want to give it to him until his port scar completely healed, because it's a blood thinner and the blood doesn't clot. His treatment this time took 5 hours, instead of 4, to get the last drug in. For those wondering what drugs his chemo "cocktail" is, besides the Avastin, he is also receiving Oxaliplatin, Leucovorin and my favorite, Fluorouracil, more affectionately known by it's abbreviated version, 5-FU! Haha! For those interested in that scientific medical jargon, you can go to www.chemocare.com for more info on all of these drugs. Needless to say, this is the treatment where he's really starting to feel it! Yesterday he was puking and he hasn't eaten much. He's hardly slept at all. Is the puking because of the chemo or because our two youngest boys were sick with flu-like symptoms last week, or both? He goes in today to have his tube removed from his port and we'll ask the nurses then. (Update: they have no idea, surprise, surprise!)🙄 Other side effects of these medications are cold sensitivity in his fingertips and toes, aka neuropathy. That's another reason why we want this long, cold winter to be over with.

On the recommendation of a friend, I bought a book called My Parent Has Cancer and it Really Sucks! It was written for teens by a father and daughter team who were caregivers for their wife and mother. It's very appropriately titled and I'm enjoying reading it. I will give it to my kids to read when I'm finished. There's a phrase in there that describes perfectly my husband's state of fatigue after chemo. "Chemotherapy-related fatigue is like ten times tired." There are certain levels of tiredness. There's the tired you feel after playing a game of sports, the tired you feel if you have to get up early and you stayed up too late, or the sleep deprivation level of tired when your sleep is interrupted because of a newborn in the house, or staying up to care for a sick child. Each of those levels of "tiredness" are difficult, but NONE OF THEM compare to chemo tired. Scott described it as "I'm so tired, I can't sleep. I don't have energy to do anything. I lay there and can't even read, watch TV, look on my computer, etc. My legs feel like Jell-O." This is going to be a sucky weekend!

Saturday, February 23
My husband has pretty much been up all night puking or in pain. Nothing he takes helps him feel any better. He curled up in a fetal position last night and just had to lay there until it felt better. I went to bed with him laying on the floor like that. I wish there was something I could do to help. I went to go use the bathroom last night and he was on the bathroom floor unable to move. He needed my help to get to bed. He hadn't been there very long, thank goodness, but he said it took all of his strength to crawl into the bathroom from the front room (only about 20 feet) to puke in the toilet. Really?! I wonder if this is worth it! I hate seeing him in this much pain. 😢
Our daughter has a ballroom competition all day today. I am so excited to go see her compete. She loves it and is getting really good. I'm glad to be able to leave home and drown out the cancer drama for a while. My sister-in-law and niece meet me there and we have so much fun cheering her on! She and her partner took second place (in the state) in the swing! Way to go, girl! It's so fun to scream our guts out for her. She wears her medal with pride for the rest of the competition, except for when she's dancing and she tells me later that she dedicated her medal to her dad because he couldn't be there. (We really hope he's at the next one.) She also competes in the samba, and she and her partner make it to the semifinals; they've never gotten that far yet. They are hoping for the finals at the next competition in early March. I'm so proud of her hard work. She will go far with a positive attitude and strong work ethic. I love to see her excel at what she loves!

Future plans
Besides chemo treatments every two weeks and scans every 3 months to see if any cancer cells have shrunk, we are also planning to meet with a genetic counselor in March to determine if the cancer is genetic or environmental. Both Scott and I are being tested. Even if our insurance won't cover it for me, it's not too expensive and I would like to know if I have a cancer gene somewhere too. I also called a GI doc and asked them to order a colonoscopy for me too. If there are any issues with insurance, I will fight them to cover it. I don't want my kids to be orphans!

On a more positive note, we bought our plane tickets for our Hawaii trip in June. We are getting super excited to go on this trip! And, no chemo for a month!

Tender Mercies and Mood Lifters since the last post

• We both had a REALLY hard weekend and a sweet ward member who checks on us regularly came over and gave both Scott and I incredible blessings. I could feel the love he, and the Lord, have for our family through these blessings. The blessing he gave me was probably the most comforting one I've received in my entire life. This man and his wife have become like our adopted parents through this process and we are so grateful for all they have done for us. I know we can count on them for ANYTHING! Oh how we love them!❤
• The Monday following Scott's chemo, some ladies from the ward came over and helped me clean and sanitize my house. Many of them said they could come over again and help as needed. That was really reassuring to me that know that there are people there to help ease the burden so I don't have to do it all myself. True, my kids can help clean the house, and they do help out and do their assigned chores, but the deep cleaning to help kill the germs sometimes requires a little more elbow grease than three teenagers and two little boys can offer. 
• We got family pictures taken yesterday by a dear family member. I can't wait to post them! :) We haven't had family pictures taken in about five years. It was so nice of her to help us capture some sweet family memories.
• An amazing, long conversation with another dear family member who has gone through caring for a loved one with cancer; in her case it was her child. He's happily cancer free for the last 3 and 1/2 years. I haven't talked to her in years and it was wonderful to get her perspective as she went through this process. A good listening ear from someone who has been through almost EXACTLY what we're going through was such a comfort to me. I look forward to talking to her a lot as we go throughout this process. 
• We've started implementing small lifestyle changes that will help improve our overall health. We've stopped eating sugar (which is huge, we both have a sweet tooth), we're doing a lot of juicing and having lots of smoothies. I've tried some yummy healthy recipes that, surprisingly, almost everyone in the family actually likes.